Welcome to Umbra Ex Libris’s first nonfiction book review! All of our previous book reviews have been on fiction novels because that’s what we like to read most. I find a lot of nonfiction books boring and easy to put down. However, I could not put this book down. This is probably the first memoir I read without ever getting bored of it.
When I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy first came out, I knew I needed to read it. Growing up, my sister and I always watched Nickelodeon television shows. We both loved iCarly and Jennette McCurdy’s character. I realized there must have been some issue when they decided to reboot the show without Jennette in it. All this led to my desire to pick this book up. It must’ve led to other people’s desire as well because when it first released, you could not find it on the shelves. Everyone talked about how much they loved the book all over Instagram and Tik Tok. Normally, I find the popular Tik Tok and Instagram books bad reads, such as The Atlas Six, but people hyped this book up, the perfect amount. After reading it, I knew others would be wanting to, so I had to write this book review.
The Summary
From the start, the book kept my attention. The book opens with Jenette and her brothers surrounding her mom in a hospital bed. Each child approaches to whisper something in their comatose mother hoping to stir her from it. Jenette approaches her mother and whispers the one thing she thinks will wake her. She tells her mom she is finally down to their goal weight for her of 89 pounds. This caught me off guard from the start for two reasons: the title of the book itself, and the shocking thing she tried to wake her mother up with. Most people would probably go with an I love you or exciting news like I’m getting married. The furthest thing in anyone’s mind in a difficult moment like that is their body weight. Jenette seems sad about her mothers condition which goes against the title of the book as well.
After this scene, the book takes us to the moment her mother decided for her that she should become an actress. Jennette agrees knowing it’ll please her mom because they are best friends and she would do anything to keep their relationship. They attend many auditions for commercials and television shows which causes Jennette’s anxiety to show up. She starts hearing a voice in her head telling her to do things to increase her chances of getting roles. Her grandpa mentions she might have OCD and her mother shrugs it off.
As she ages she notices her body is becoming unchildlike. This leads to fear that she can no longer be casted in child roles. She does not want to disappoint her mother so she asks her mom how she can stay young. Her mother introduces her to calorie restriction which is how she claims she stayed so skinny. The two start to enjoy very small meals together like dressingless salads.
Eventually Jennette gets a starring role in iCarly where she befriends her co-star despite having drastically different backgrounds. The two email each other back and forth constantly, all with Jennette’s mother monitoring.
After a few seasons of iCarly, her mom pushes her to do country music since other child stars made the change to music. Before her big tour her mother’s cancer comes back so she cannot go on the tour. This gave Jennette her first true freedom away from her mother. Jennette binge eats away from her mother’s watchful eye and experiences her first kiss. She enjoys being able to do what she wants without someone complaining her criticizing her. Once her tour ends she sees how frail her mother became. Her mother didn’t say I missed you like a typical mom but instead tells Jennette she gained weight and Jennette promises to diet again.
Jennette starts dating an older coworker. She hides him away from her mom knowing she would not approve. After paparazzi catches them, her mother finds out and insults Jennette and her character. Jennette tries to reconcile but they move on acting like nothing ever happened.
As her mother’s health declines and eventually passes away, Jennette develops new habits which involve binge eating and binge drinking. She develops bulimia knowing her mom would be ashamed of her. The bulimia gives her a sense of control so she can eat what she wants and she starts using it as a coping mechanism for her emotions. A new boyfriend tells her she needs to get help otherwise he can’t date her so she starts seeing a therapist who started helping her. She quits shortly after because the therapist brings up her mother and how her mother taught her how to be anorexic.
Jennette is dissatisfied with her acting career so she quits altogether. She seeks new help for her eating disorder realizing it is negatively impacting her health and relationships. By the end of the book Jennette remembers how passionate she is about writing, not acting, and is on the road to recovery from her abusive mother.
The Good
Jennette McCurdy’s writing voice is unlike any other, making it very easy to find the good for this book review. She recalls her childhood thoughts and feelings and her childlike voice. She does not add in her current thoughts and feelings about what happened as a child just what she thought as a child. This gave a unique feeling to the memoir. We would look at some of the events and go, oh my that’s horrible but her young self thought nothing strange about the events.
While talking about deep and personal things, McCurdy manages to include humor and a lighter side to these dark events in her life. A few times I found myself laughing at these horrible situations and then feeling weird about laughing at them. However, if you are looking for a nice and light book full of humor, this is not one I would recommend. Nothing talked about in this book is nice and light.
The title of the book itself is eye-catching. How can anyone be glad their mother died? Some people might not read the book because they believe it to glamorize death itself or mock a loved parent. I promise this is not the case. The title fits perfectly. On the last page McCurdy hammers home the point without actually saying she’s glad her mother died.
The Bad
There is not much I can critique or complain about in reading and writing this book review. If I had to pick something, some parts made my male brain uncomfortable. Jennette McCurdy brings a complete openness to her life including sex, periods, and hormones which slightly caught me off guard. Really this isn’t that negative of a thing to bring to a book about your life. I enjoyed the openness and the secrets about her life in it.
The Rating
I would recommend this book to a lot of people. Jennette’s unique voice alone makes this book a great read. Although, this book involves many mature things such as sex, eating disorders, mental disorders, and abuse so it is not for the faint of heart. I feel strange writing a book review off a memoir on someone’s life in the typical sense we rate books, but this book is worth reading. It gives a glimpse into the lives of children actors and what some go through. It gives some look into how eating disorders and mental disorders are caused. I am shocked after everything Jennette went through she is as normal as she can be.
9/10 A fantastic book
Have you read this book? What did you think? Are there other memoirs or fiction books Umbra Ex Libris should read? If so let us know down in the comments we always love to hear from our readers.