“You never got what you wanted; you just learned to get by without it.”
Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng
It is impossible not to have expectations when we pick up a book. In fact, I would argue every book I pick up I am expecting to enjoy it, otherwise I wouldn’t have picked it up. Therefore, there is a different level of disappointment when we pick up a book with good expectations, only for those expectations not to be met. This is how I felt with Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng.
Synopsis
Everything I Never Told You is the story of after the story. It tells the past, present and future. The book starts off with telling the reader about the death of a teenage girl. Lydia is the perfect daughter, student and friend, until the chapters progress. As the reader continues through the story, it is revealed how the things we think we see are not always reality.
After Lydia is discovered dead, the Lee family must discover their new normal. However, no one can come to terms with Lydia’s death. James, the father, wants to trust the police. His daughter’s death was a freak accident with no fowl play. Marilyn, the mother, disagrees with the police and knows her daughter didn’t end up at the lake alone that night. She can not conclude that her daughter willingly walked into the water. Nath, the older brother, takes the blame and feels he could have prevented his sister’s death had he not been giving her the cold shoulder. Little sister Hannah is just trying to stay in the shadows because people can’t get mad if they don’t see you.
Through the process of grieving, family tensions rise. This results in arguments, separations, affairs and a lot of silence. The reader can feel the family dynamics shift as each member processes their grief. If the reader is familiar with the stages of grief, they can track each member’s progression and the side effects of that. If you are looking for a book with a happy ending, all I can say is this book is not for you.
Dislikes
Overall, this book was a mix of highs and lows. I did not enjoy the long chapters. The chapters seemed to be endless, making the story drag at some moments. The story also hopped from timeframes unnaturally. It was difficult to track which took away from some of the big reveals. The ending was also extremely unsatisfying. When an ending is unsatisfying I can normally separate it from the overall story, but in this case I feel as though the ending set a poor tone on the overall book. It left me feeling very disappointed.
Reader Edits
I think the book could have been better has the author made clear connections between past and present. I also believe some of the chapters could have been split differently to allow for better flow. Because the chapters were long, paired with blurred connections, there were a lot of confusing pieces to tie together. Perhaps that was the intent, but it was unenjoyable for me. Another personal preference that would have made the book more satisfying for me would have to be more character dialogue. While I do not dislike narration based stories, I feel like some dialogue usage could have made some areas more clear. I would also have liked to see a Lovely Bones effect, in hearing from Lydia as the family processes this loss.
Positives
While I cannot say I enjoyed this book, I can still recognize some things I did enjoy. The reader gets to know each character very well. Ng does an amazing job expressing their emotions, even down to the younger sister who goes seemingly unnoticed by the rest of her family. I will also say, the descriptions used to portray feelings and situations were very deep. The chapters has a tendency of hitting me hard due to the intense emotions drawn from every page.
Recommendations
I recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a glimpse at the impacts trauma can have on families. While this book did not do the best job at flowing from beginning to end, it did give a good glimpse at the processing of trauma in a family unit. I would also recommend this book to anyone who is looking to elicit deep emotions. I do recognize my dislike of this book could simply be because I was not looking for deep emotions, I was looking for suspense. Content warning for individuals sensitive to talk of suicide, drowning or family violence.
Overall, not my favorite read this year. I am sure there will be more books that I like the same or dislike even more. This book simply did not impress me, but that does not mean it was bad. It simply means it was not meant for me.
Unsatisfying, 4/10
As always, happy reading
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