Death is inevitable. Therefore, grief is an experience we all will partake in. Our journeys through grief will all be different, but similar in their existence. We experience grief when we lose someone. Most often, grief is associated with death. Truthfully, grief is experienced for any loss. Loss of a job, loss of a home, loss of normalcy.
I think we often forget grief, or try to. We sweep it under rugs because it can be ugly. I however believe grief is beautiful and should be shared. When we share our grief we take away the power it can have over us. Grief can be isolating, but when we decide to share our grief with others we are no longer isolated in it.
Below I have compiled a list of seven books that touch on the idea of grief. Each book’s touch on grief for different reasons, different loss. Each of these books have helped me learn something new about my own grief. If you are going through a new grief or learning to share an old, I hope one of these books can help you. Because we should never feel the need to hide our grief.
The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen
I first read The Girl Who Chased the Moon when I was a junior in high school. My Spanish teacher handed it to me at the end of class saying she felt I should read it. She knew me to be a reader and was wanting to share one of her favorite stories with me. When I opened the book, I was greeted with a tale of a peculiar town filled with unique people. Each of these people were walking their own unique journeys. One young girl returns to this town to learn more about a mother she never got to know. In this journey of learning about her mother, she learns so much more about herself. This book taught me that sometimes loss has more to give than take.
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I grieve and try to move on, but then the damn thing comes back the next night, giving me hope of catching it all over again.
The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
I went to college out of state from Marissa. Having been best friends for the greater parts of our lives, this was a challenge. During our freshman years, we did a book exchange. I read Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, annotating it along the way, and shipped it to Marissa who did the same. This book centers on the tale of a young boy searching for a lock to match a key belonging to his late father. This young boy goes on a healing adventure, uncovering mysteries of his grief and the grief of those around us. This story taught me that my grief doesn’t control the speed of my life. I can move forward with my grief, and moving forward is a way to heal.
So many people enter and leave your life. Hundreds of thousands of people. You have to keep the door open so they can come in. But it also means you have to let them go.
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
Looking for Alaska by John Green
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I’m sure many people have heard of Looking for Alaska, or at least heard of John Green. This book takes the reader to a boarding school filled with outcast kids. This story, while not focusing on loss, offers a lot of insight on the idea of suffering. Throughout the story, the circle of friends discuss “the labyrinth”. The labyrinth can symbolize both life and death, depending on the person. For Alaska, the labyrinth symbolizes suffering. After reading this book several times, I’m still unsure what I believe the labyrinth to be, but it has still taught me many things. In regards to my grief it has taught me the power in forgiveness. When you are able to forgive, your grief will begin to feel more empowering.
The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.
Looking for Alaska by John Green
Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom
Before it was me and Marissa, it was me, Marissa and Heather. The year Heather died, I read Tuesdays with Morrie. I don’t think I have cried more reading a book than when I finished this one. Still, I go back to it regularly. This book follows Mitch rediscovering his college professor, Morrie, in the months leading up to his death. Morrie was not just Mitch’s professor, but also a mentor. With this new found relationship, Mitch is able to sit and hear lessons on life. These lessons center around hard life decisions, death of those close to us, overcoming our inevitable ends, and so much more. This book has many lessons for the reader and I find a new one each time I read it. It is a book on life’s greatest lessons after all.
Death ends a life, not a relationship. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on- in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.
Tuesday’s With Morrie by Mitch Albom
The Grief We’re Given by William Bortz
Differing from the rest of this list, The Grief We’re Given is a collection of poetry. The collection taught me it is okay to feel everything grief brings me. All my losses have brought about different feelings, some more painful than others. Reading through these poems, I am taught the importance of allowing each of my feelings to pass. By allowing the feelings to come and go, I am able to continue moving forward.
One day I decided
to take a step
and it hurt less than standing still
The Grief We’re Given by William Bortz
My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Fredrik Backman
Fredrik Backman always makes his way back to our blog. I could not leave this one out of this list. My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry focuses on a child, Elsa, going on a mission for her grandmother. Elsa knows her grandmother is sick, so this last mission holds extra importance as it is delivered to her the day before her granny passes. After losing the person she is closest too, Elsa has a difficult time completing the task she was given, but nevertheless does it knowing how important it was to her grandma. Along the journey, Elsa learns things about her grandma and the other tenants in her building that create confusion for the life Elsa thought she was living. It is a magical story all about letting go and the importance of connection. The book taught me to take my grief on step at a time. Like Elsa’s, my life can be an adventure and each step of the adventure has something to teach me. So I better not rush the lessons.
One day at a time. One dream at a time. And one could say it’s right and one could say it’s wrong. And probably both would be right. Because life is both complicated and simple. Which is why there are cookies.
My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Fredrik Backman
The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams
Bringing it back to a recently reviewed book, The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams has a sub theme on grief. Esme’s story regularly touches on the loss of her mom. In fact, the loss of her mom, Lily, sparks her desire to learn more words and the possible double meanings of them. Esme’s approach at grief reminds me to never stop talking about it. By speaking about Heather and my grandparents, I will always be able to have them around. I think so often people are scared to mention the people who have died, fearing they may be a source of sadness. I disagree. When I speak about the ones I’ve lost, I am able to remember them with you, bringing them back if only for a second.
‘And then I was born and then she died.’
‘Yes.’
‘But when we talk about her, she comes to life.’
‘Never forget that Esme. Words are our tools of resurrection.’
The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams
Grief can be scary and isolating. It can make time move slower and our emotions feel heavier. Still, grief has so much to teach us. These stories have so much to teach us as well. I hope one of these stories speaks to you the way they have spoken to me. And I hope your grief becomes lighter.
As always, happy reading.
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